Is it Wrong to Want to Die?
A Christian Perspective
By Miles Gloetzner
Intro
Being in a home for the dying, this comes up. Living in a world of suffering, this comes up. First some Bible quotes then some examples - and after these my humble comments (your comments are also welcome!).
This probably won’t be what you would expected, regardless of your religion, spirituality, humanism, or otherwise.
A Few Excerpts from the Bible
“Why is light given to him who is in misery, and life to the bitter in soul, who long for death, but it comes not, and dig for it more than for hidden treasures, who rejoice exceedingly and are glad when they find the grave?” (Job 3:20-22)
Here, Job expresses having experienced a suffering when watching someone else suffer. He’s praying with heated compassion that it doesn’t make sense why God doesn’t always let the suffering person die. Heavy.
“I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me. If you will treat me like this, kill me at once, if I find favor in your sight, that I may not see my wretchedness.” (Numbers 11:14-15)
Moses was at his breaking point. He felt so frustrated that he didn’t want to keep on living. He was literally asking God to do him the favor of killing him. Heavy.
“Please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” (Jonah 4:3)
“It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” (1 Kings 19:3-4)
Jonah and Elijah both prayed that God would let them die.
“To me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.” (Philippians 1:21-23)
This one has a much different tone than the others. Paul expresses wanting to die - but it’s because his heart is longing for life after death, a life of ecstatic freedom and joy with God. He’s basically saying, “Life here is good - but life there is far better.”
A Few Noteable Saints
I learned recently that Padre Pio stated more than once that his “greatest wish was to die.”
I just did a quick check and found that another saint, Therese of Lisieux, had a similar sentiment - “My heart felt the exile of this earth. I longed for the everlasting repose of heaven, that never-ending Sunday of the Fatherland!”
And then I found that some renowned Christians experienced the desire to die - and sometimes even suicidal thoughts - throughout their lives such as Ignatius Loyola, Mary Magdalen dei Pazzi, Francis Mary Paul Libermann, Bartolo Longo, Benedetta Bianchi Porro, and others.
None of these ended their lives, despite the internal and external struggle. These people are remembered and honored for finding meaning in their suffering and their dying. Their caring communities must also be recognized for supporting them through it.
So What?
Life is good and it is precious.
Life is also fraught with the imperfect and can be downright miserable at times.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to die - be it for a hope in heaven or because you feel hopeless.
Every person deserves help, resources, and a loving community.
The violence of ending life, even of a terminally ill person (their own or another’s), is contrary to their inherent dignity.
Are you considering medical aid in dying (MAID), voluntary stopping eating or drinking (VSED), or ending your life another way?
There is help. There is hope. Start by calling 988.
Are you afraid of being a burden? Are you afraid of dying? Have you lost a sense of the meaning of your life or suffering?
If you aren’t sure where to turn, you may contact us. There are community supports available.